I simply cannot believe the speed of time.
I am in disbelief that is has been over 16 months that my beautiful mom has been gone...
This year has been...
A year of firsts...
First Mothers day without her...
The first of her birthdays that she was not here
The first anniversary of her death
She died in August of 2009, so we've been through one set of holidays last year though they did not seem to be easier this year...
The loss is still so extremely strong...
The amount of life that she brought to me and my family is insurmountable... Irreplaceable...
This year has been...
A time where I grew...
And regressed...
Where I was stronger than I ever thought I could be...
and weaker than I ever thought I could be...
I have been giving...
I have been selfish...
I have been filled with emotion and love...
I have been empty and protected...
In certain ways I thought I had been "found"...
Yet feel so extremely lost...
The year has been unexplainably, and undeniably filled with... loss...
I'm trying to find my way in my own life again...
Am I succeeding at all??...
I feel like I am and failing...
There has been light and hope...
And sorrow and mistakes and regrets...
And love and sharing and growth...
And laughter...
And sadness...
And complete heartbreak...
And...
the list goes on...
Here is to a New Year...
2011...
I hope you are filled with less loss and more hope...
"Cheers"
I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year!
Here is to my mom and the strength and love that she shares so generously with me always...Without it, I would never get through a day!
This is beautiful Tiffany! I pray that 2011 brings you love, happiness, peace and everything else you desire...you deserve it!
ReplyDeletexoxo~Meg
Wow - you are a poet, Tiffany!
ReplyDeleteI understand how hard grief can be.
Praying for you!
Happy New Year!!
beautiful babygirl! These sentiments are ones that I hold dear, even though they are certainly for different reasons.
ReplyDeleteSomeone once told me that the seas are always rough but if you have your eyes on the important things then its easier to get through to the less rough bits... I hope the the next 365 days bring you light, love and laughter. And lots of 'less rough bits' too!
I love this post!! I'm keeping it in my favorites!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and sending you warm friendly hugs!! Happy New Year!!
I can really relate to your words Tiffany. Losing my grandmother this past year has been the hardest loss I've ever been through. I find it so weird how emotion can overcome me in two seconds when I just stop and think about her and that she's gone. We've got to keep our chins up and keep living our lives and feel blessed that we had them in our lives. Here is to a better 2011! Cheers!
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