Happy Thanksgiving...

For me this holiday has always been "my mom", there is no other way to describe it really. It was her favorite.
She would make a beautiful golden turkey. Stuffing cooked right inside the bird. Oh the cranberries...YUM... Homemade with the slightest hint of orange.
Her pumpkin pie was simply delicious.
Her open arms welcomed all of us, one by one, as we arrived to the comfort of her home.
Her smile was always warm and accepting, I miss it. I miss her guidance and patience.
My heart is still broken from the loss of my beautiful mother.
Today I will go to my best friends home and have Thanksgiving with her wonderful family. I am grateful for the open arms of my amazing friends, who are my family. I will think silently of my loving mom and smile, knowing that she is probably not too far away.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Hug your loved ones extra long today.
Enjoy your holiday sweet friends.

Not every day is a sunny day...

Sometimes there are dark days. I do not know where they come from or why they are so overpowering. Mind over matter doesn't always work. I can't quite figure out if it has to do with time change or weather change or just simply life...I don't like not knowing the answers to the sadness. Overall I consider myself a happy person but sometimes there is a darkness that clouds my heart and mind. I just want to curl up in my bed and not get out. I know it is part of life for most of us, but it doesn't make it any easier, does it?
One of my closest friends, Rachelle, sent me this article for natural remedies to help combat depression. They are great tips. I think I need to take them one at a time one day at a time and hopefully break through the darkness.
I thought I would share the link in case you might need an idea or two.
10 ways to help combat depression...

1. Be kind to yourself.
2. Get enough Vitamin D.
3. Eat good food.
4. Sleep (If only that were an easy task).
5. Explore holistic treatments and supplements.
6. Meditate.
7. Lean on your friends.
8. Ask for help.
9. Avoid drinking and Drugs
10. Move your body.

Any remedies you'd like to share?

The sun shining on my face...

Often this quote passes through my mind, it's from an old movie called Mask. Does anyone else remember that movie? Not "The Mask" with Jim Carey, but "Mask" with Eric Stoltz, Cher and Sam Elliot.
I am not sure why these words have stuck out so strongly in my mind for all these years ~
"These things are good: ice cream and cake, a ride on a Harley, seeing monkeys in the trees, the rain on my tongue, and the sun shining on my face. These things are a drag: dust in my hair, holes in my shoes, no money in my pocket, and the sun shining on my face". (Rocky Dennis)

Are you there blog readers...It's me, Tiffany~

It has been a while since I have been here. I hope there are still some of you that check in now and then.
I miss you! I miss my little corner of blog land.
It is Fall already and it came up fast. I am ready for the (slightly) cooler weather but I am always sad to see another summer come and go.
I took a few minutes to take my camera in my hands and head out to my yard and take some photos of the beautiful, vibrant colors. It is a lovely time of year and I need to remember to step outside and take a look of the beauty that surrounds me.
I hope that you are enjoying the seasons. Comment if you are here and let me know how you're doing.

4 years...

As I write this I am fairly certain that it is impossible for 4 years to have passed since the death of my beautiful mom.
4 years without her...It still does not seem real.
My family and I will get together today to spend time with each other and reminisce about my mom and the life she lived. We honor her memory as much as we can with celebrations of her life whenever we get together, and by thinking of her and loving her as much today as we did every day of her life on this earth.

Dear mom,
I miss you with my whole heart.
I have so much that I want to share with you.
What I wouldn't do to hear your voice, your laugh, just one more time.
I am finding my way again in this crazy world as much as I can.
I miss you, I miss you.
I love you my sweet and beautiful mom.
Your daughter,
Tiffany

As another Mother's Day passes by...

My mom is still such a large part of my life. I find her in my beautiful sister and her family, I find her in my wonderful friends, I find her in my new love. Her memory and influence lives inside of my heart so strongly that I still often forget that she really is not physically here any more. This Mother's Day was spent with the people I love, spanning a few days filled with amazing thoughts, comments, flowers and tremendous support.
(A special message to my amazing friend Jody who lost her mom about a month ago, Jody I want you to know that she is watching over you, she is so proud of the beautiful person that you are and always have been, I love you sweet friend.)
Last week I took two finals for school and I was so worried and nervous about how I did on the tests and in the classes. I awoke this morning to find an email from one professor letting me know I did well on the test (97) and had the most points overall of anyone in the class~ I cannot tell you how happy that made me. But even more so was how happy others in my life are for me. My family and friends are so supportive and proud and that means the world. My best friend sent me a reminder of how proud my mom would be of me too, oh how I wish I could share this with her. But I suppose in many ways I do.
My gifts in this life are the amazing people I am surrounded by and so very blessed to know. And all of it started and continues because of my beautiful mom and the amazing woman she was.

For Andy...

This Saturday I proudly watched you cross the finish line of your first half marathon~ I want you to know how proud I am of you!! Your strength and dedication is such an inspiration to me.
It just goes to show that we are all capable of things we have yet dreamed of doing...
I cannot wait to see what you will take on next! Congratulations on such an amazing accomplishment sweet friend!

Brain Cancer Walk 2013

It is that time of year again.
Time to join together to help raise awareness in the fight to end brain cancer.
The walk is on Monday May 27th, Memorial day~
If you go to sign up make sure to "register for an event" instead of making a donation so that you actually get set up to run/walk it. And sign up for the team Rena's dragonflies :)
If you are not able to walk with us and would like to donate just click "make a donation" next to our team name.
Brain Cancer Walk registration

We walk for our beautiful mom, Rena...
We love you mom!!

...cherish this life...

About three years ago I started this blog as a place to keep myself accountable to continue living after the death of my beautiful mom. That time in my life was devastating to say the least and thanks to the support of my wonderful family and friends I was reminded of why we live even when times feel so very hard. This blog helped me share some of the things I was doing in order to remain alive in every sense of the word. From the little things like learning to cook, taking a sewing class, running my first 5k, to the bigger things, spending more time with the people I love, setting some bigger goals like running the half marathon, to traveling more and experiencing the world. I want to apologize for the past few months and my posts that show more of an inner struggle. My intention with this blog is to be able to be myself and share things from my heart so I felt ok about sharing some of the dark stuff too.
Though I know in the beginning it was maybe more a place that people came to see good, happy, positive posts on life. The past few months I know it has not been a place of inspiration. Part of who I want to be and the journey that I long for is to be a person that inspires. Life is short and we all have so many struggles that we deal with in our lives. I vow to share more positivity and less inner struggle so that this becomes a place that you can come to for little reminders of how amazing this beautiful life really is. Thank you for sticking through with me if there are any of you that still come around here. Thank you for your support over the past three years, it means so very much to me.

Source: sphotos-b.ak.fbcdn.net via Tiffany on Pinterest

Dear funk....

Dear Funk~
I am letting you go now. You have been around for too long and while I am sure I needed to take a step back and look at things in my life, I am done with the funk part. You kept me warm this winter by keeping me from leaving my bed if I did not need to. I appreciate your comfort at times, but I am ready to move forward without you, dear funk, and get myself back to who I long to be, back to where I need myself to be~
So thank you for your time, Funk.
The sun is ready to shine and I am moving on.
No longer yours,
Tiffany

(cell phone photos)

Music sharing...

It's time to share some more great music. A good friend of mine introduced me to Nick Drake recently ~ thought I would share him with you~



He reminds me so much of one of my other favorites...
Alexi Murdoch...
I had not seen this exact video before, but oh how I love this song....

Another one just because I love his voice and lyrics sooooo much, it gives me chills.....

....welcome March....

I am welcoming March with open arms this year. I feel like I am ready for Spring and sunshine more than ever before. This Winter proved to be a difficult one for me. Lots of snow and freezing cold days, inversion and sunless months, long days and sleepless nights....I seemed to be wearing a cloak of sorrow for a few months that I simply could not shake. The past ten days or so have seemed to lighten a lot. This morning I could see the sunlight peeking though my blinds ~ The warm light was a welcomed sight and I got out of bed with a new outlook. A familiar one that seemed to be hidden in some darkness. Today I put my running shoes on, unzipped and removed my heavy coat of excuses and ran! I ran to the park where I met my friend Rachelle and we walked and talked for a while, then I ran back home. It felt great. So liberating to be able to feel like myself in a small way again. It is strange how sometimes you can feel so lost, so sad and down and almost not even realize how low you had been until you have a few days that feel good again.
Spring is coming and I am ecstatic for the change...
In the weather and inside my heart and mind~

This photo may not look like much but I have not seen ground without snow for so long that even dead grass and dirt looks amazing right now...

Somedays....

I just need a kick in the butt ~ Today was that day. The beginning of the week was one of the roughest I have had in a long time. Work was so incredibly frustrating, I cried more times that day than I care to admit. I started the day feeling down and ended it feeling even worse. I think I have been having a pity party lately. I did not originally see it as that because it has felt as heavy as the earth on my chest. I have struggled to motivate and struggled even harder to want to get out of my bed or not crawl right back in it the moment I step foot in the front door. Some days I have failed at this, some days I have succeeded~ Today I was gently reminded that I have something more in me than to sit here and watch my life pass by while I wallow in sadness...There is a world out there to see, people to spend more time with, a life to live to the fullest ~ Sometimes a little "tough love" in the kindest of ways is all one needs to be reminded of what they are missing...
Andy, Thank you for your gentle reminders ~ I needed it more than you can ever know....

Source: Uploaded by user via Michael on Pinterest

....set sail....

Source: inspiredbycharm.tumblr.com via Michael on Pinterest

~ love this ~

...influenster...

So a few months ago I heard about influenster from Ruthy (fellow blogger and friend, she has disabled her blog for now while finishing up school, but I will link it when she returns).
Infuenster is a site that you can sign up for and randomly they choose people and send items to sample and review. I was not sure I would ever be chosen but to my surprise I was!
 This is the fun box I received...

Kiss nails~ I don't usually put stuff on my fingernails since it always comes off but I decided to try this.  I just put them on today and application was easy, I will update with how long they last.  It says up to 10 days.

I love this brush!
Nothing ever has worked with being able to curl my hair while I blowdry so I was really hoping this would work,  but it doesn't.  However, it is a great brush and I love the blue spongy things.  When the brush is cleaned out I think it helps maintain fly-aways.

The oatmeal was delicious.  It is fairly high in calories for a small breakfast snack but when you're in a hurry and hungry it does the trick.  And it was yummy!

I did not use this coupon to buy any shoes, but the shoes on the website looked cute and were good prices.

This stuff was not so good~ It tasted like cough syrup and was hard to chug down. I had high hopes for it.  I do not think it made me feel any more energetic.  Bummer!

OMG, I LOVED this mask!!! I don't really use masks ~ but this felt great.  Once you apply it you leave it on for about 10 minutes and then wash it off, and instantly my face felt tighter and smooth.  I never had any skin reactions or breakouts from using it.  I just love it and hope to find it on the shelves locally so that I can buy some!

A few weeks later they sent me an additional package containing this book~
I have yet to read it since I have been reading another large book and have more homework these days, but I will review when I do get to reading it! ** I started it and am about 30 pages in, so far so good!

@influenster

For Heather.....

I just found out that your lovely grandmother died in the night and my heart aches for you...I am so proud of you for all you had been doing for her, especially after everything else you have been going through this year...
I watched you be such a strong mother when you found out that your beautiful 11 year old daughter had a benign tumor and needed to have a very delicate surgery done to remove it. I cannot imagine the fear you were experiencing. You handled it all with such grace...
I am so grateful that you had asked me to take some photos of Maquel before the surgery.
I think the world of you and want you to know just how proud I am of you and how very grateful I am to have you in my life!
You are an amazing mother, a caring granddaughter and an irreplaceable and priceless friend!

Moving forward....

Source: losing30lbsincollege.tumblr.com via Tiffany on Pinterest

Asia....

I am sure most of you (if anyone still checks my blog these days) know the love I have for travel...I am considering taking a big trip this year and/or next and Asia is calling my name.
I am thinking
Cambodia
Thailand
and Vietnam...
I would love some info if anyone has been there and also if it is safe for a woman to travel alone.
Or if you have any other must go places you want to share with me!!
Thank you!

Favorite new music....

Ben Howard is my new "play over and over again" favorite musician. Thanks to one of my very best friends and DJ Andy for introducing amazing music to my life...Thought I would share!

Hello 2013....

Another year passed by so quickly... 2012 was a good year. 
No European adventures, or severing of relationships (or tendons) so it was not as "standout~ish" as the previous year in that sense.  But it was good year complied of smaller things....Hiking to Cecret Lake a few times with family and friends, Pumpkin carving and soup parties, Sunday morning breakfasts with friends, my nephews soccer and basketball games, girls trip to Arizona (the least amount of traveling I have done in one year in so long), weekend in Moab, nights in Park City, bike rides, running Ragnar with some amazing women, lots of books read, the decision to go back to school, lots of Yoga, Winter walks, Fall hikes, snowshoeing, cooking, the list goes on....And you know what I continue to realize....just how very lucky I am.   The people in my life are what make me so happy. If richness were measured by the family and friends we are blessed with in this lifetime, then I would be the wealthiest person on Earth.
2013 is here....I have not made a list of resolutions per say, but I know that it is time for me to forgive myself and move forward, it has been long enough to be so hard on myself...
I am ready to be open to dating again (that is so scary to admit out loud).  To be open to change and growth in my job.  To be open to going forward with school and maybe deciding on a major.  To regain motivation to run and have some breakthroughs physically.  To make some travel plans. To set aside fear and self doubt.  To look deeper inside myself and figure out what it is that I feel is stuck inside of me and let it out...
2013 is a blank slate for all of us~ There is no better time than now to take a step forward in whatever direction you want to go in your life!
Here is to an amazing New Year to all of us!